The three attachment styles covered so far (anxious, avoidant, and disorganized) are insecure attachment styles and so, they are characterized by difficulties with maintaining healthy relationships. Today we’re going to be exploring the secure attachment style–the attachment style we all hope to aim for in relationships. A person with a secure attachment style is comfortable expressing their emotions openly, they can depend on their partners, and in turn, can let their partners rely on them. Relationships are often based on honesty, tolerance, and emotional closeness, and someone with a secure attachment style thrives both in relationships as well as when they are alone. Secure attachers tend to have a positive view of themselves and others, so they do not overly seek external validation–they can successfully identify and regulate their emotions and even help their partner do so with theirs.

It is completely normal to recognize features of one or more attachment styles in romantic relationships and it is important to remember that attachment types can change with major life events, with different partners, and with therapy. If you identify with one of the insecure attachment styles in relationships, it is highly recommended that you actively address the issue through increasing self-awareness, working on self-development, and if necessary, seeking psychological help. If left unaddressed, strongly expressed insecure and unstable attachment types can cause anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.