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Couples Therapy 101: Tips from Emotionally Focused Therapy

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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an approach that can help improve marriages and relationships. Here are some tips that draw from EFT principles for cultivating a healthier and more fulfilling marriage:

1. Foster emotional connection: Make a conscious effort to understand and respond to your partner’s emotional needs. Create a safe and supportive space for open and honest communication. Show empathy and validate each other’s feelings.

2. Prioritize quality time together: Regularly set aside dedicated time for meaningful interactions. Engage in activities you both enjoy and create opportunities for deepening emotional intimacy. This can include date nights, shared hobbies, or simply having uninterrupted conversations.

3. Practice effective communication: Focus on active listening, seeking to understand your partner’s perspective without judgment or defensiveness. Express your own needs and concerns clearly and respectfully. Avoid blame or criticism and instead use “I” statements to express how you feel.

4. Address negative interaction patterns: Identify negative cycles or patterns of communication that often lead to conflict or disconnection. Work together to recognize and interrupt these patterns, replacing them with healthier and more constructive ways of relating to each other.

5. Express love and appreciation: Regularly express love, gratitude, and appreciation for your partner. Small gestures of kindness and affection can go a long way in nurturing a positive and supportive atmosphere in your marriage.

6. Seek professional help if needed: If you’re facing significant challenges in your marriage, consider seeking the assistance of a trained couples therapist. EFT or other evidence-based approaches can provide guidance and support in navigating difficult issues and strengthening your relationship.

Remember, building a strong and fulfilling marriage takes effort and commitment from both partners. By prioritizing emotional connection, effective communication, and mutual support, you can cultivate a healthier and happier relationship.

Kevin Lee, PsyD

Clinical Psychologist